Gambit Say
by Berserker Nightwitch
Summary: Gambit gets ahold of too much alcohol and gets drunk. He talks in the third person and annoys the others.


It had all started as a way to loosen up. After all the battles they had had, they just wanted to relax. When they looked back on it, though, they realized how stupid it really was. But then, hindsight is a blessing.  
  
It was Logan's idea to have a few beers, but Sean (code named Banshee) had decided to play 'I've Never'. No one could have imagined the amount of things Gambit had done. Needless to say, Gambit had gotten drunk in about five minutes. The game stopped shortly after, but Gambit had yet to get sober.  
  
"Hey Gambit!" Scott called as the Cajun ran by the doorway. Gambit came back and looked in the door. "Don't you think you've had enough to drink?" he asked, noticing the bottle Gambit was still holding. Gambit shook his head.  
  
"Gambit t'inks dere's no such t'ing as 'enough'."  
  
"Would you QUIT talking in the third person!!" Scott yelled as Gambit left the room.  
  
"You didn't have to yell at him, Scott," Jean told him. "He probably won't even be conscious for much longer."  
  
~ Four hours later ~  
  
"If I hear one more 'Gambit say' out of Gumbo's mouth, his throat's gonna have a couple slice marks in it!" Logan threatened. No one tried to defend Gambit, who was drunkenly screaming random things at the mansion. All of those things started with the words 'Gambit say'. After the first three hours Logan, Jubilee, Kurt, Scott, Jean, Rogue, Warren (Archangel for those who don't know), and Hank (Beast) had decided that hiding in Warren's room would be a good idea. Gambit didn't get along well with Archangel.  
  
Bobby had gone to Cerebro when even he couldn't stand to be around Gambit much longer. [1] Already hiding there were Professor X, Alex (Havok), Nathan (Cable), Kitty (Shadowcat), Sean, and Lorna (Polaris). Bobby was slightly surprised that Scott and Jean weren't there, since their family was.  
  
"In or out, Iceman?" Nathan's voice broke Bobby from his thoughts. The cyborg's eyes looked dangerous, but Bobby couldn't remember why he had shown up. "Listen, Iceman. I don't care if you can handle him or not, if Gambit finds us here, I'll kill you. Now, in or out?"  
  
"Gambit say dat he is de best!" Was heard from around the corner. And it was moving closer.  
  
"IN!!!!"  
  
~ Thirty minutes later ~  
  
"He's gotta run out of alcohol soon," Jubilee whispered from her spot on the dresser.  
  
"Yeah, it's been awhile since the cellar was restocked," Logan agreed.  
  
"It's YOUR fault he's like this to begin with!" Warren yelled, his wings shaking with the effort of restraining his anger. "You're the one that suggested the alcohol!"  
  
"Yeah, but he doesn't know where my-"  
  
"Look! Gambit find lots of drinks! Dey in big bottles!"  
  
"No! My secret stash!!" With a war cry that would put Banshee to shame Logan ran to his room. The others decided it would be in their best interest to follow and see what happened.  
  
"What secret stash?" Kurt asked, 'bamphing' to get to the angry Canadian.  
  
"All kinds of beers, wines, and liquors. Basically anything that has even a drop of alcohol in it."  
  
From the other side of the mansion (Logan's room) they heard Ororo yelling. When they got closer, she started yelling at them. "Where did he get all this?!?!" she screamed.  
  
"Gambit say dat he find de stuff in de Wolverine's closet!"  
  
"Get outta my closet, Cajun!"  
  
"Gambit don' wanna."  
  
"Get OUT!!"  
  
"Wolverine, STOP!" At Storm's command, Logan stopped. His claws were about an inch from Gambit's throat. After two seconds (if that) Gambit got bored and left the room, somehow completely unaware of the danger he was in.  
  
"Gambit say dat dis est ennuyeux!" [2]  
  
"Gumbo-"  
  
"Let him go, Logan. How did he get drunk in the first place?"  
  
"Sean decided to play 'I've Never'. Where were you?"  
  
"I've been in the loft. That was a bad idea."  
  
"No kidding! That kid drank for almost everything and had to think for twenty minutes each time it was his turn!"  
  
"Yes. He does strange things just to be able to drink during that game."  
  
"Gambit say dat-" Gambit was unable to complete his scream due to his own giggling.  
  
Logan and Ororo blinked. "Where were we?" Ororo asked.  
  
"Does it matter?"  
  
~ One hour later ~  
  
"Gambit say-"  
  
"I say that if you don't CUT IT OUT I'm going to hurt you!" Scott yelled. Gambit just giggled and walked by him.  
  
"Ororo, please! Is there anything you can do?"  
  
"Why are you asking me?"  
  
"Because you know him best and he trusts you!"  
  
"Bobby, it doesn't work like that. Besides, by this point it will be very easy to stop him if you want to."  
  
"Just try! Please!"  
  
"Gambit say dat Ro's room de best!"  
  
"Alright." Everyone's pleading, plus the fact that he was in her room, made Storm agree to do something. As she headed to her room, she turned back and saw fourteen people following her. Then she reached her room.  
  
"Gambit say-" he stopped when Storm cleared her throat. He looked over and, seeing who it was, wobbled to the doorway. [3] "Hi Ro!" He stopped when they were facing each other, maybe a foot apart.  
  
"Ororo smiled at him. "Go to sleep, Remy."  
  
And then . . . he did. He fell onto Ororo, asleep. She barely had time to catch him.  
  
"I told you getting him to stop would be easy."  
  
Fin!  
  
[1] I'm assuming Bobby would usually be able to handle it since he is the prankster of the group.  
  
[2] est ennuyeux is French for 'is boring'  
  
[3] Keep in mind he IS drunk.  
  
A/N: This is an idea a friend of mine and I had when I was reading fanfics. It's just a crazy story that has a bit of humor. Please review and let me know what you think. 


End file.
